thumbdrive

guess nothing beats e thumbdrive as a welcoming gift to all engineering kids of NTU... its juz simply so relevant to us... for example...

phua: eh fuck! u know how to derive e Euler's Formula not? siao liao...

boon hao: i tried 2 nites liao, cannot means cannot....

phua: den how? sure come out one leh... if u dunno... i can nv noe... kum kuku liao lor...

patrick: no worries! juz thumbdrive it, whole chunk from e notes, copy n paste in can liao!

boon hao: ok, steady! dun understand juz thumbdrive it! onz la!

phua: fuck la... i this week 3 paper sia... too many files liao, no space liao la!

patrick: can one, juz go clear all e older stuff!

phua: my mother's name?

yah... 'thumbdrive' is e new word in town... final yr liao... no such things like '打包' liao... dunno die die oso muz swallow... whoever dun have thumbdrive, i doubt he can even enter e uni door.

somehow... thinking back over e years of my exams attitude...

primary sch - 'mummy... 惨了啦，我 careless hor, 被扣五分了啦...'

secondary sch - 'juz do 10 years series can liao! do finish 10 years i dun get A1, i tok my own lan jiao cook you u eat!'

JC - 'wtf! i kana ulti den headshot by e paper la!' (its e prime days for Warcraft & Counter-Strike)

uni - 'hosei! december coming! 整题我包美美当作 christmas present 送回给他! i nv do, u no need to mark! steady rite!'

haha... somehow in army, i learned this phrase from my kuku trainer:

'if u dun cheat, i din try hard enuff!'

haha... juz a collection of cheating stuns over e past 24 years of my life! some i used, some i observed de!

1. write in e inside of e eraser cover, e bigger e eraser, e more u can write!
2. slide e writings under e instruction sheet of e calculator cover
3. hide e cheat sheet in e sleeve of e windbreaker or right under e shirt in front of yr tummy
   
4. place e cheat sheet under e exam table e evening before
5. one of e most absurd that i had seen, e highlighter that comes wif 'post it', well written on e every of them n pasted them back in placed in e highlighter
6. design n print a shirt of formulas n get e guy sitting in front of u to wear it!
7. common toilet break for half-time discussion! often used by india's ahbunehneh, cos e invigilators dun understand wat e fuck they saying!

in year 2, for fluids paper, i saw this cock who brought in his own cheat sheet (5 x 5 cm), and yep he drop it to e floor, while trying to retrieve out from his windbreaker's pocket... chui-ed... end up he placed his feet over that small piece of paper, 20 cm off his table on e left, for e rest of e exam. LOL, cant rem, juz get a buy a bigger thumbdrive la!

a busy week for me, for singapore

wah! its a damn busy week, with the APEC thingy for the country and exams for me!! haha, all e ministers have their nerves juz as tight up as mine! bet our dear defense minister n his army of the various chief-in-command of wat not all can finally sleep in peace once Obama get his ass on his Air Force One n out of our land! poor me! still kana haunted by engineering formulas, i dun mind if they r clear in my dreams, that means i studied n learned well! but they r simply juz so blur... sob sob...

no worries to all foreign leaders! wat's there to worry when hu jing tao brought Kungfu Panda to town and Obama sending in 250 secret agents, camping at the top of our skycrapers with their sniper rifles?



STOMP shd start e campaign, sponsored by e whitehouse, that if we get to capture a shot of these secret agents, we receive US$500, to check their competency of disguise and stealth! that's gonna be fun for us rite?

yep, 2 china's top breed of giant pandas as token of good frenship, r to be PR in singapore for e next 10 years, and that suddenly strike me to question, so wat do china send to countries as token for so-so frenship? small pandas?

anw, i still prefer e US styles... like kunfu panda! cute n inspiring... e real ones r rather boring... seen them in zoo... more like rocks with black spots, cant kick n fight, nor even do rolls on e floor... e cartoon one much better! i wonder if they will like it if we were to send lions to china... bet they even have lions with pink polka dots,that ours seem so... normal...

hmm if animal cant do e job... buy them food! treat hu jing tao to chicken rice? that's something tacky... wat if they claim that the Hainanese Chicken Rice is not singaporeans, but belonged to Hainan, and wants it back like they want taiwan? anw... i'm a pure breed hainanese (both parents of pure hainanese from Hainan), there's no hainanese chicken rice there... only 文乡鸡 which taste horrible!).

haha! that's why i prefer the americans!! 'Botak Jones' is my fav! wahaha! so localised!

Botak - Singlish
Jones - Ang Moh

so integrated! i simply trust e americans that they will never want to claim ownership of this!

hmm... wonder any european leaders who's in town this time round... y dun they bring EPL to all singaporeans and NOT JUST TO MIO TV SUBSCRIBERS, as a token of good frenship too? we dun go to zoo! so we no need animals! they look much more interesting on Discovery Channel!

mugging is crazy... our tower at lee wee nam is so easily under attack cos e army is always sleeping!! poor jayren... as e general of e tower defense, he has to defend it outside he's own territory...

haha! my pro-comm. team! topic: office sexual harassment. haha! we love harassing wei xiu!

took a break, 2-piece chicken meal with the buddy meal coupon! wootz! FINGER LICKING GOOD!

an unfair world

haha, in e midst of preparations for e 2nd last exam of mine, few things crop up, like finding jobs n kana pressured by FYP prof.. that i revisited some rules of mine... yep, somehow our lives r sadly filled wif limited choices, governed by the 3 Do's of life:

What I can do.
- the Realistic-Self

What I want to do.
- the Idealistic-Self

What I need to do.
- the Fabricated-Self

somehow, this 3 Do's simply juz contradicts in our lives, that we cant have all 3 of them at e same time, be it we like it a not. i can work, but i dun want to work but yet i need money, so i need to work, yet e job that i like doesn't pay me well, so e more i dread working, but i need e money cos i want to eat botak jones, so i do work that is high paying, with probs so hard to solve which huants me in my dreams in e middle of e night... bla bla bla

there's no way that i can find a job that i need to do nothing, but yet get paid for. we still have to make a choice rite? being e phua that u all know, my mia sia (名声，reputation) is of paramount. nothing is more important than that.

i'll choose to be e fabricated-self, even i dun like wat i'm doing. maybe i'm a born responsible boy, or maybe i juz wanna be viewed by others that i'm a responsible boy. nonetheless, regardless of e driving force, i choose wat i need to do.

doing wat i can do best, like watching drama, continously for days n nights, realistic? but i really want to juz lie on e bed in e air-con room n watch dramas, ideal? think about it, who e fuck in his rite mind would want to work? but we all have to rite? not as if my dad is Bill Gates, or my wife is some dubai princess that i can drink oil like water.. as much as i could, once i start working, get some cash, i'll want to travel around to see e world, maybe their moon really rounder... but i wun, cos i'll save e money to buy a car for e family, cos my parents r old, i need to provide them wif e comfort.

'with great power comes great responsibility' - peter parker (spiderman)



yep, so life is never really our choice... at e end of e day, we cant really tell wat's to be ahead of us, lucky i got all these 'Phua's Laws' to guide my life! 宁愿对不起自己，也不可对不起别人. when i was in yr 1, yali once said this to me, 'you think i like to talk to pple meh? its becos i have to ma, its part of e job of being a main commer..' - thanz, i really learned a lot.

my views

with e current nation's direction of inreasing population on our little sunny island, e govt wanna push e human numbers from 4.3 to 6.1 million... to do so... encouraging native citizens alone, to fuck n give birth is simply impossible... e cost so living so high, me, at most 2 (i marry my wife, i contribute back to e nation by producing 2 back, very responisble liao!) n no more! not many singaporean think like me, i bet more dun even wanna have children...

anw... e govt sure have it ways to get wat they want... of cos not by getting more banglars... but inviting wat they call e 'foreign talents' which somehow dun seem so talented, at least to me... they r simply here to make numbers, somehow e means r not meeting e ends... not exactly that i hate them or afraid that they r competing away my career opportunities (if my boss-to-be prefers to work wif some tiong or neh, think his too dumb to boss me) but they r real prick in e ass thru out my education journey...



education in singapore is a funny thing... think we all r familiar with e streamings in secondary sch rite... from good to bad:

special - wah, yr son very smart ar!
express - wah not bad leh, which tution centre u send him to ar?
normal (acad) - maybe he's a late boomer, can de la, dun worry..
normal (tech) - my mum doen't noe that this stream exist...

do u noe, in e past when govt wanna push for industrialisation, they r ranked e other way:

normal (tech) - his normal and good in technical skills, craft to be an engineer!
normal (acad) - hmm... can study la, but cant apply onto daily work...
express - get out of sch fast... e factory needs them
special - they attend special school.... too dumb...



'cher, can i go toilet?'

so after e industries r up... die... all r engineers who cant sell their product... so they pushed for 'Thinking School, Learning Nation'. another rubbish thing... so poor students like us have to attend thinking programme, teaching us how to do explicit n implicit thinking... wat crap... my teacher den dun even noe wat she's doing herself... n juz turn it into reading period...

after a while, this thing died down, but yet there's another new direction, that in e real world, work become very adhoc based, all r project-liked, so students muz be trained to do project, so i gotta do IPW (forget wat it means) as part of my 'A' levels requirements... smlj... worst of all, my batch, e one n only batch, has to take SAT paper cos others think that singapore is using english form of assessment too long n has lost touch wif e competitveness from US, so i must take both! wat e fuck! e next year, dunno for fuck reason they scrap e idea... so i wasted my time n $200 to take that paper.

so now i'm in e uni, worst... now e govt wants to push for population growth, keep paying e ah tiongs n nehs to come study here... hoping that when they grad, they will contribute to e economy with their special 'talents', n with good prayers, they will fall for some singaporean, decide to fuck n build their family on e sunny island... think e govt thinks too much...




these r not banglars! i got this pic from one of e ah neh club from sch, taken when they went on outing for famous prata in singapore

their 'talents' other than getting e 'A's n i gotta suck thumb wif my 'B's,

1. seriously adding to noise pollution
2. spoiling e freshness of e air wif their unwashed clothings
3. leeches in proj work
4. they spoil my nights wif bad DOTA games
5. cutting queues at canteen (later did i realise that they r too dumb to noe that there's a queue line
6. simply refuse to speak e common language, english
   
7. they become lousy prof who cant teach in english
8. blocking up e walk corridors, they r real good at that... i tot i'm a loud boy, i said excuse me 3 times n none heard me... den i realise that they r real good in thier 1st talent...
9. spending my parent's money
10. this special skill that Naruto has... they are everywhere

for some reasons, i really hate their pressence in sch... they r getting e better grades, not thay i'll get them if they r not around, but rather give them to some singaporeans peers of mine... they r spending my parents money! we pay tax! govt use our money to pay for them to come study here! even give them S$550 a month! they take e rooms in hostel, while we fight so hard in CCA to get equivalent points to get a room... end up we still din get rooms, our results cui, while they get room, get results, get our money... wtf!



i spend 4 yrs wif them, they dun seem at all interested to adapt to us... refuse to even use msn or facebook prefers their 优酷 over youtube... maybe in 10 years to come, we start seeing school boys like this at your neighbourhood!



so wat if e 4th local uni is to be opened in 2012, does that means more singaporeans will receive uni education? end up its juz another place for them to part! for every $3 that e uni receive from us, e govt gives e uni $1, so that's 25%, i dunno how to do e maths, but i juz noe we r feeding them. unwillingly... i'm gonna grad n have to pay tax in 8 months time... mind u... they dun even have CPF contribution for e 5 yrs of bond here... knn...

wat policy is this all about? yes, e govt has brought us thus far... but this is seriously annoying... y shd i pay for my son to suffer in this education which i went thru myself... poor him if i'm still a singaporean then... worst, he cant get beat them to get entry to local uni, i gotta pay more for him for private uni education, yet still pay for his arch enemies to study here!

juz got irritated by them when i got my subway this noon...

tiong: wat favour for u?

me: hearty italian

tiong: sorry, which one?

me: no. 3 . . .

tiong: vegetables?

me: everything except olive

tiong: huh?

me: everything except olive

tiong: (lost-child face)

me: 全部都要，除了橄榄...

dunno is her english bad or my chinese good.... ya... fuck me for all u want that i dun like them. y dun they go join e rest of their foreigns, like those from thailand n philipines, to flourish e streets of geylang? think that's being more beneficial to e society, a place where we spend money willingly, enjoy, n lower rape crimes...

Exam is coming!!

oh no! its e time of the year again!! ROARR! though its like my second last exam of my life, yet, i dun see the call for a celebration for it! juz dun wanna be an 饿死鬼, had an 'hall 7 reunite steamboat' at hall 5 with jas n jean last thurs! wahahahaha!! i love ball ball!!

somehow i abit siao siao that day! bought damn hell lots of food! 1 boy wif 2 girls n e food cost up to $76!! wahahahahah! eat until wanna vomit sia! but simply loved my old neighbours!! hehez! now nobody will wake me up in e morning liao! my new neighbour at hall 5, eugene, is juz plain irritating, instead of waking me up, HE CAME IN MY ROOM, SWITCH OFF MY ALARM CLOCK, claiming that i dun let him slp! ROARRR!!!

haha, we simply failed to consume e food we bought, called for help n summoned e ghost from lee wee nam library, (yonghan, jayren n tung) n we end up chatting till 1am in e morning! haha, somehow no more odac, we got more time for ourselves, yet not spending them constructively, using them to revisit e good old days when we were still involved in e club... like wat eugene says... ‘你们都是 ODAC 鬼...’

during e weekend, junhua called to ask to borrow my single room at hall 5 for fliming... haha, felt honored initially, until i got to know her storyline... yea... wat purpose can this fugly looking room be used for? haha... a rundown mental hospital, she even asked me to be one of e character... seriously... i cant imagine myself acting to be of mental disorder!

juz ended my project with my HA101 (public administration - if u dunno wat's that, bascially how e govt. sets public policy, like imposing tax n setting up of ERP) team on e topic on Privatisation of Local University! (my topic fucking exciting too! shall post bout it in my next entry!, where i'll shall with u wat i think bout e educational reforms that e country has undergone, like e shitty 'Thinking schools, Learning nation' - wat pangsai!) simply love this course! so interesting! can kaopei bout e govt. thru a rightful channel!!! anw, really enjoyed working wif my team! elizabeth, eng soon n e lost child shaoyu!