lost in control

convocated. somehow, the cemonial day plays no significance to me. nonetheless, still glad that i'll be done and away from books, at least for a while. sadly, emotionally, i'm still not capable of letting go, thoughts of the succesion and the next batch of leadership in the 15th management committee still lingers in my mind, even while i'm at work. to a certain extend, its affecting my performance. nah, i shall get back in pace and not letting emotions getting over me, shall not lose my sharpness in the early stage of battle. no matter how hard i try, this time, i can't make a difference no more.

fortunately, for the past few years of my teenage life, i had been blessed to be always in control, doing things i want, in my own comfort, be it in studies, odac or work. however at my first career, supoosedly my role is to be in control, well sitted a room called 'control centre', but yet i'm not feeling it as i should be.

i don't like such feeling. though i know its just a passing phase, that every newbie has to go through, and it will not last for more than 3 months. but i'm still pissed by my own incapability to contribute at work. others may say that the work requires much more knowledge that can't be accquired over a few weeks, that my job is now to learn, but hot-blooded me its getting impatient. probably, i'm just not quick enough in getting the stuff into my brains.

haiz... i no longer can help with the Club, yet i can't be much of help at work too. shall get back on my feet right now. ROAR myself x 3!